Sunday, January 31, 2016

Embracing Vulnerability: My Most Dramatic Post Yet

I wasn't planning on publicly sharing what I am about to share, with anyone but my family and close friends, but recently the word has gotten out and a lot of questions, excitement etc have come from it, so I thought why not? Why keep it a secret? So, here goes nothing...

Monday nights are my favorite {and really only} night to watch TV.  As an exciting season of Monday Night Football comes to an end, a new season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette rolls out. Always promising to be the most dramatic season ever,  I plan my evenings around getting to know the contestants, "live" texting with my friends as the drama unfolds,  and casting my vote for who will receive the final rose. Some seasons are better than others, sometimes love is found, and sometimes the drama is more than I can handle. During the last couple of seasons, I have had an overwhelming desire to apply to go on the show.  For those who know me, and I mean really know me, that is a HUGE leap of faith.  From fighting back thoughts of insecurity to overcoming my complete discomfort with being in front of a camera {ironic as I am applying to go on a TV showed aired on national TV}, it was a leap of faith I was willing to take...

So I started researching on what all the application process entails & connected with people on twitter in hopes of gaining additional inside information.  I'll be honest, the details are hard to come by...there is no timeline/deadline, you don't really know when to submit your application and which season you are applying for.  But after several seasons passed and my desire to at least put myself out there to apply to go on the show increased, and with the a little nudge from my friend, I printed off the application, outlined my desired video, and started the process.  Fully embracing vulnerability. 


Well let me begin by saying that I am 32 and single in Medford, OR and am looking for more than this small southern Oregon town seems to have to offer.  I want more adventure, more experiences, more culture.

I believe in the potential of the process to work for some.  I know more people than not are skeptical of the show, and it's ability to create a match made in heaven.  But I think it can be a great platform to meet people who you otherwise wouldn't meet, while truly having  a once in a lifetime opportunity. So whether its true love you find {the ultimate goal}, new friendships you create, or adventures you have, its bound to be an EPIC experience.


You have to submit a 5 page application answering questions ranging from your dating past, what you are looking for in a spouse, to your occupation, etc, along with 5-10 pictures of yourself, and a 10-15 minute video basically convincing the casting crew to select you.

Did I mention I absolutely hate being in front of a video camera?? Oh the irony.  But I outlined what I wanted to include in my video, picked out my outfits, determined the shoot locations and set out with a camera and my friend to depict The Life of Holly in only 10 short minutes!  10 minutes isn't a lot of time to fully encompass whats important to, friends, serving/community involvement, my faith, running, my job, traveling, etc...while truly capturing my personality and who I am.  I can honestly say I have never had more fun being uncomfortable...we laughed as we highlighted my corporate job in downtown Medford and staged a scene at the Dutch Bros drive thru.

The application was filled out in its entirety, the top pictures selected and printed {each individually labeled}, and the video edited and formatted to their specifications {complete with a personalized CD label}...and were all sealed up in a gold manilla folder, sure to catch the attention of the casting crew, and sent off to California.  I tracked the package to confirm it was delivered, and then just waited. And waited. Always anxious when an unknown number called me.

I heard nothing.  Not even a confirmation that my application was received.


I thought I would be disappointed that I didn't hear back, but I really wasn't. Rather I was so thankful I followed a desire of my heart and forced myself out of my comfort zone.  If anything, I hope I can encourage others to be willing to be uncomfortable and possibly face failure, because it is through the process that we experience many blessings in disguise.  I have never had so much fun doing something that I really don't like; we seriously laughed until we cried several times during the filming process.  And I grew as a person, gaining more confidence and an increased desire to continue to live life to the fullest.  Something I thought would be so difficult and uncomfortable for me really wasn't, making me question what other opportunities I have passed up because at first thought they might make me uncomfortable.

So while I might not be riding elephants in Thailand, flying in a helicopter over LA, or having a camera crew follow me around 24-7, I am still living life to the fullest, making the most of every adventure and opportunity that comes my way, and at some point along the way I will receive my final rose.


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