Saturday, November 11, 2017

God is winking!

Hello! It's great to be back here...blogging that is.  As I sit here, tears streaming down by face, my hope is that this post of vulnerability, pain, heartache, and loss can be a source of faith, hope and strength for those of who you find yourself in a valley of life, a season of pain. 

The last two months have been a season of heartache, pain, loss, & hopelessness; however, I want to share with you a message of hope, encouragement and faith.  Over the last couple months I have heard from several people how strong I am, how my faith is inspiring, but I am hear to tell you that it is a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute CHOICE I make.

I don't necessarily understand it. I ask questions.  I wonder why.  In the end, I'll see the big picture and realize it was for the best. God's plan never disappoints.  God's plan takes us further than we could ever imagine.


I experience pain, but am overwhelmed by JOY!
I feel hopeless, but am reminded of the HOPE  I have in Him.
I feel weak, but have so much STRENGTH!
I feel alone, but my cup runneth over with LOVE!
I battle not being good enough, but know that I am MORE THAN ENOUGH.
I questions WHY?, but the real question is WHAT?
When I want to say NO, I say YES!


Each and everyday I experience God Winks, letting me know that everything is going to be ok, and that He has everything under control.

I have been surrounded and embraced by the most amazing friends, family & loved ones that a person could ever imagine OR ask for.  The cards, random texts, words of encouragement and so much more have been overwhelming.   Throughout this season, people who are near and dear to me have come to me for love, support and encouragement as they work through their own pain, darkness, & hurt.  It is such a blessing to be able to pour into their lives during this season.

I am constantly asking myself WHY? Why me? But one day my mom encouraged me to switch my thinking from asking WHY?, to asking WHAT? What am I supposed to learn from this? One thing I have learned is that seasons of pain, loss, heartache etc are most often preceded by a season of abundant joy & blessing.  Often in life, we refer to the dash, the line between our birth and our death.
For me,  I focus on the dash of that joyful season of life, and pray that I was a blessing in the lives of those I loved so dearly, that I left a legacy and a lasting impact, and that my love for them will never be questioned. And I choose to focus on all of the fun times, memories, blessings, and more that I experienced.

As the pain was often paralyzing, I searched for JOY, and made it a point to say YES! Yes to coffee dates, dinner invitations, the opportunity to travel and spend time with those who are closest to me, yes to uncomfortable situations that can result in so much growth and healing...YES to surrounding myself with the things and people that mean the most to me. Two weeks into my season of heartache, pain, & loss, I had the opportunity to be on team as a leader for an intense personal leadership class that focuses on embracing vulnerability, overcoming complacency in all areas of life, developing trust, living life to the fullest, etc..saying YES was perhaps the scariest decision I made, as having been through the class before, I knew how much emotion would surface over the course of the 3-day class.  But I am here to say it was one of the best YESes I have made on my journey to healing. It was a YES I deserved to experience, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be vulnerable with others and grow from the experience together.  

Perhaps the most important & impactful thing I  have done is to be aware of and in search of God Winks...those signs, encounters, and reminders that God has everything under control.  From the Bible verse you randomly come across that speaks truth & wisdom, to the fortuitous encounter with an old friend, to finding a sign on a walk,  to those things we like to call coincidences...they are everywhere, if you look for them. I have been overwhelmed by the assurance that everything, and I mean everything, is going to be more than ok.

While I don't know your personal story, or the season of life you are walking through, I want to encourage you to seek JOY,  have HOPE, experience LOVE, & find your STRENGTH in Him...because you are MORE THAN ENOUGH!

Keep your eyes, heart and mind open to God's winks!